Hello, dear internet! Doubtful anyone sees this anymore, but I thought I'd resurrect the 'ol blog because y'all... I'm in a serious rut.
First, a lot has happened since, you know, 2012.
First of all, baby. Had one. He's cute. (he's also more than a year old, so weighing the same as the day he came out... um. eek.)
Job. Got a new one. LOVE IT. Everything about it. Including a 35-hour regular workweek. I was supposed to use those extra 5 hours for exercise, etc. Instead I just use it for 1) extra sleep and 2) hanging with the little.
House. Bought one. It's in the neighborhood where I grew up. And, conveniently, it's just up the (tall) hill from our local Greenway.
2013 was pretty crazy for us. So, I'ma use that as my excuse to have ballooned up to (OMG I can't believe I'm about to put this in writing over the internet...) 188 lbs. At 5 feet tall, that puts my BMI scarily into the "obese" category.
Current state of affairs is that I feel like I'm back to my old, non-healthy, sedentary, insecure self. I worked really hard to get away from it, but it was so easy to make excuses in the last year... baby, stress at work, nursing, time management, sleep deprivation, crappy weather... I've become a master at reasons why I look and feel the way I do.
But at the end of the day, I feel crappy. And sitting all day and eating crap all the time doesn't make me feel better - even during the very act! My poor husband is having to serve (again!) as my entire self-esteem. He's in a tough spot - I rely on him to tell me that I'm sexy and beautiful, but at the same time I don't believe a word he's saying. Poor guy. He's trying so hard. He wants to be supportive, but he also wants to do what makes me happy. Is he supposed to say, "Maybe you shouldn't buy that ice cream," or, "have you been active today?" Come on. It's rude of me to put that on him.
So, I know I can do it. I've done it before. I was almost this heavy back around 2009 after P and I had been dating a while. I went to therapy, started running, and learned how to eat much healthier. It was successful, and I wasn't super-miserable.
So why does it seem like such a huge hurdle now?
I referred back to my favorite website: zenhabits.net to help jump start me. One of his suggestions is to make little goals.
Here they are:
Be active 20-30 minutes every day.
Stand up for 1 hour at work.
Replace "fatty" foods (pizza, burgers, fries, BEC bagels from Brueggers...)
Do not drink sugary drinks (or diet sodas)
I'm going to try to make it one whole week. Starting today.
Baby steps, right?